helpdeskblog

It is a slow week

Now that the customers are away I have had to resort to the web for entertainment. Here are some stories from
http://rinkworks.com/stupid/cs_obvious.shtml

I'm a tech support engineer for a software company. I had a guy call up rather annoyed that the disks we'd sent him containing the latest version of our software didn't work.

Customer: "The install fails half way through. I tried several times, and it always fails at the same point."
Tech Support: "Did you see any kind of error message?"
Customer: "Yes."
Tech Support: "What did the error message say?"
Customer: "It said, 'Please insert Disk 2.'"
Tech Support: "Have you got another disk there?"
Customer: "Yes."
Tech Support: "Is it labelled 'Disk 2'?"
Customer: "Yes, it is."
Tech Support: "Insert that disk into the drive, and click 'OK'."
Customer: "Wow, thanks! That's fixed it. It's installing now. What was it, a faulty disk or something?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tech Support: "Ok, ma'am, I need you to do a ctrl-alt-del."
Customer: "How do I do that?"
Tech Support: "Push and hold 'ctrl' and 'alt' at the same time, and then hit 'delete'."
Customer: "Where are those?"
Tech Support: (explains the location of the keys)
Customer: "Nothing happened."
Tech Support: "Try again."
Customer: "Still nothing."
A minute or two later....

Customer: "Should I turn my computer on? Would that help?"
Tech Support: "Yeah, it might."

Merry Christmas

Just wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year...And to all the helpdesk workers under John...See if you can get him to fund one of these

What I want for Christmas

I have gotten the best Christmas present I could ask for. The love of my family? No, I get that all year long. The respect of my student workers? No, I prefer fear. What I really want for Christmas, what every human being wants, to have my vices turned into virtues with the passage of time. I want, for instance, for swearing like a sailor to be considered a mark of sophistication. For bacon and all other pork products to be shown to be good for you, and for aerobic exercise to be shown to be deadly.

With this in mind I present the following article: http://www.webmd.com/content/Article/80/96454.htm

I plan on upping my intake to a gallon and a half a day.

You can't fire me so just remove me from the mailing list

Hello everyone this is my last efford to get myself off the HelpDesk mailing list so read on...

So the other day I decided to check my w&l email account for the fun of it. As I go through and delete of all the junks that sent to the helpdesk@wlu.edu, I found an email with the subject "[HELPDESK] i need some money". At first I thought that was just some junk but then I see "[HELPDESK] please excuse email titled "I need some money" ", then "[HELPDESK] Re: i need some money"... so I decide to read them...
Here is the first email (the sender have been deleted)

Dudes,
I have only sent this out to the people who haven't paid dues yet. I know that it is the end of the term and everything but if you have not paid your dues I need a check as soon as possible. 100 dollars to Minks Rugby. This money is for initiation, a winter term party, and to curb some of the cost of the trip abroad. You really need to pay this and if you don't I will personally find you, f**k you in the ass and then take your wallet. if you have paid and for some reason you got this, e mail me and I wont f**k you in the ass. Everyone else either put your check in the rugby cubicle or call me and I will come pick it up from you. My digits are ***-***-****. We need this $ before the end of the term. Thank you for your time.

The dude must have notice the email or someone point it out to him, so he sent the second email

i dont know why it was sent to you but it was not ment to be sent to you. Sorry about the confusion.

And for a second I thought we were gonna be a member of the rugby club...
Finally I was not the only one who think this is so funny. I present to you the third email

Heh... the help desk hasnt paid its dues...

Hope I haven't violate any HelpDesk policy of sharing email. Please don't remove me from this blog :)
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!!!

Death to 137.113.48.2!!!

Whoever has this IP address has been up to some naughty, naughty web-vandalism.

All I want for Christmas from the John is to know, who is this fine fella that is vandalizing this webpage. It's really the only thing that I want right now. I've been real good Santa... Puh-leeeeease?

Or, lacking that I think Tom Tinsley should kindly notify this user that, "Yes, the Helpdesk is always watching."

I was thinking maybe a photoshop of an old World War 2 Propaganda poster. Like this picture...

Of coure, we'll change "ENEMY" to "HELPDESK," because the Helpdesk is not the enemy. In fact it is your friend. Much alike George W. Bush. Say it with me, "The Helpdesk is my friend."

If that fails, we can go all out. We can use this poster;

We'll just replace that guy's face with Tom's, John's, and of course, mine. We will then place them all around campus.

We must get the freethink out and the goodspeak in!

Tis' the season of heartbreak

So, after the mini-drama of my life pining after a guy who would never think of me romantically, I have come once again to the conclusion that I have to be patient. Despite all the good advice I have received here at the helpdesk, I am still a wuss and cannot profess my love before the boy goes to travel abroad. So, sitting here at the helpdesk, I realize that my love-life is kind of like my relationship with some of these computers. No matter how hard I try or how much I research and spend time on it, it just doesn't want to do what I want it to do. Oh, the story of unrequited care and love. So, yesterday, I was chatting with a friend who was a friend of my crush's and we both decided that my chances are very very slim...*sigh*. I think I'll just work on computers for the rest of my life because at least if they don't return my care and affection, I can just wipe them out and ghost them.

I love my job, I love my job, I love my job

Three days before final exams and new AIM viruses land on the campus like a bunch of flying monkeys "I found a picture of you on the internet - check it out" or "Here's a Christmas Card for you". Now I have to admit, if a friend of mine said they found a picture on me on the internet I'd want to see it because all such pictures should be suppressed and I'd need to know who to sue, but the reality is that I know that such a link would have to be a virus because I have accepted the basic truth of the internet, which is that you have no "Buddies" and you can trust no one. It is like a horror flick where your best friend and your mom turn into Zombies at the blink of an eye. Trust is an evolutionary disadvantage. So just accept the fact that on the internet no one likes you enough to A. post your picture, B. Send you a Christmas card, or C. do anything else that might be nice or helpful. Now don't get me wrong I still believe that people are good at heart and that every cloud has a silver lining and that people may in fact like you (or me (which after all the hard drives I have reformatted this week is unlikely)), but not anyone on the internet. They are the zombie enemies who want to install rootkits on your computer because you are nice enough to have friends and they do not.

But back to the main point of this blog, and the reason every cloud has a silver lining. I realized yesterday that this is the first job I have had in 20 some odd years in which a really bad day (December 7, 2005 (but thinking about 1941 what the hell am I complaining about)), did not lead me to start thinking about means of escape, but gave me some solace in that even on really crappy days there are things I enjoy about my job (1. My employees, 2. My customers) and that that made it all worth while. So here's to all you Bob Cratchetts who work for me, take the whole of Christmas day off, and don't come in too early on the 26th either.