helpdeskblog

Hello

Alright, it's been a while since I post anything. First of all let me tell you where I work now, no it's not a secret location located somewhere underground :). I am at the OCC, for those who don't know it's The Office of the Comptroller of the Currency. If any of you into banking and all that stuff you know what they are. Oh "Comptroller" you ask, well it's the same as controller but in the bank industry they use comptroller. According to my dad it just sounds cooler... he works for the bank so I assume he knows what he is talking about.
Even know I am working on the 5th floor, I still don't see any sunlight during the day... :( I haven't got my clearance yet... that is still in process. Oh talking about that if you got contact about me don't be scare, they don't bite... or at least I hope so.
On the second day I was here, I receive a 20gb USB2 portable hard drive. the brand is ARCHOS, the model is ARCDISK20 if anyone want to look up. I recommend giving this to help desk workers :D they are only about 200 :)
Work so far is not bad... They using a job tracking system name Serena.... hm... interesting the website is www.serena.com why didn't I trademark my name???

In lieu of a helpdesk webcam, here's one for Peter, Enjoy!
Click here

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEE!

YAY! The Elham is one year (and a day) older! Everyone celebrate the ELHAM! And you can send my presents to Egypt, because that's where I am now. :) With my camel (don't be too jealous Peter D....hee,hee).

how to decrease John's work (with the risk of pushing it to negative values)

Here is the new set of my quite meaningful suggestions of how to improve the computing enrvironment in W&L :)

Below is also Ontrack Data Recovery's most unfortunate computer mishaps for 2004 :)

So, suggestions:

1) (see mishap #1) We should also start freezing our hard disks when they stop working. Maybe we should also freeze the Groupwise server, too, when it stops working... And also maybe the Helpdesk manager ... anyway :)))) nothing personal of course :)

2) (see mishap #7) We should not keep the laptop with the construction plans for the new Art & Music building at the construction site itself, let alone below some steel rods that have a predisposition to falling on whatever is below them.

3) (see mishap #8) We should install bigger toilets...otherwise how would we flush an Inspiron down the toilet when the Dell Inspiron support make us wait one hour on the phone???

4) (see mishap #10) We should not leave laptops brough to the helpdesk on our private jet runway...when John makes one :)

Mishaps #1 and #10 are my favorite :)))

courtesy of: http://212.187.242.219/

Top 10 data destruction disasters

Ontrack Data Recovery unveiled its 2004 list of the 10 strangest and funniest computer mishaps.

1. Data Defrost
One man brought in a hard drive in a wet plastic bag. He said he had read on the Internet that if you place a broken drive in the freezer it would fix it. So he tried that method and asked the recovery engineers not to laugh.

2. Reckless Recycling
One man tidied up his computer folders and inadvertently deleted the ones he meant to keep. He then cleaned up his system, emptied the recycle bin and defragged the hard drive before realising his error. He now triple-checks files before deleting them for good.

3. Rowdy Relatives
A man suddenly found his laptop would only boot up to the 'blue screen of death', putting his data at risk. A week later, his nephew admitted that he used its screen as a punching bag to relieve his frustrations with the slow computer. The man sent his nephew back to live with his parents.

4. Digital Disaster at 19,000 Feet
The Polish explorer Krystof Wielicki dropped his digital camera when climbing the Himalayas on his latest expedition, smashing it to smithereens and damaging the memory card in the process.

5. Gone in a Flash
One medical company worker completed 1,200 customer billing entries — a process that took several days — when lightning struck the transformer outside the building. Everything was gone, including all the bills she had just prepared.

6. Baby Blues
One couple had hundreds of pictures of their baby's first three months on their computer. When a virus struck their PC, the computer manufacturer advised them to reload the operating system but they forgot to save the data.

7. Construction Calamity
During the construction of a large office building, a steel beam fell on a laptop computer containing the building plans, crushing the laptop.

8. Toilet Trauma
One man became so mad with his malfunctioning laptop computer, he threw it into the toilet and flushed a couple of times.

9. Road Kill
A woman placed her laptop on top of her car while she got in. She forgot about the laptop, which slid off the back of her car, and she then reversed straight over it and reported hearing a 'crunch'.

And finally...

10. Runway Wreckage
A laptop computer was run over by an aeroplane. Even Ontrack's recovery engineers don’t understand how it happened, but that was the customer's explanation.

running the IP protocol over novel techonologies

Hey, guys, I have a proposal for the Helpdesk and UC as a whole. Why don't we stop using these boring CAT5 cables and start transporting IP packets over something more fun and meaningful???

Researchers have already made substantial progress on the issue.

In RFC1149 you can read about transporting IP packets over pigeon carriers. Reportedly, the mechanism achieved a blasting speed of 0.08 bytes per second.

Substantial improvement was made later, when at Algoma University in Canada, researchers experimented running IP over Bongo drums :) The speed went up to 2 bytes per second. They are currently working on developing fast-speed Bongo drums.

FSMism

As my final contribution to the Help Desk weblog before my end of summer departure, I must share with you all my new found faith. The Flying Spaghetti Monster has touched the Help Desk with His Noodly Appendage! And don't forget that His heaven has a Stripper Factory and a Beer Volcano!

The end of the summer holidays...

As the summer holidays wind down and anxious young schoolchildren prepare for another grueling year of a-reading, a-writin', and arithmatic I think it would be an opportunistic time to start some French bashing.

First off, those who know me well will see its quite clear that France is one of my least favorite countries. In fact, I think France is probably the most useless country in the known universe, even behind Djubuti, Kyrgyzstan, and Palau. (Granted, Palau is quite useful as it was part of the historic Coalition of the Willing who bravely invaded Iraq, overthrew a ruthless tyrant, and installed a new government which is leading a now peaceful, prosperous, and vibrant nation).

France, of course, was not a member of the Coalition, partly due to the fact they suck and partly due to the fact that the French language has no word for "Courage".

But France is now becoming even more innovative in the ways in which it wastes oxygen and other precious world resources, namely oil. It turns out that the French economy isn't doing too swell.

This article on CNN's website is a great aid in understand the dimensions to which the French manage to embarass themselves. The article begins, "Sunning himself on a bright blue beach towel, Romain Playner looked like any summer vacationer. But the unemployed actor wasn't on vacation." (emphasis added)

Now I'll take a minute to ponder the last statement with you, Reader. Only a Frenchman, who, lacking a job and hence, source of income would be working on a sun tan instead of, oh I don't know, working. The keyword in the above statement in "unemployed." You see, poor Romain Playner wants to go on vacation, but simply cannot afford it. The reason? He's (say it with me) "unemployed."

Romain is no deviation. I think its quite clear he embodies the French people. (I use the term "people" with regret as I can find no word with connotation negative enough to satisfy the need.)

But there's another reason why this proves the French are clearly not worthy so much of that maggot infested water supply they euphemize with the misnomer River Seine. The Mariam Webster Dictionary defines vacation as "a period of exemption from work granted to an employee for rest and relaxation." Given that he is unemployed, why is he vacationing? The definition clearly does not cover him.

I quote the article on CNN again, "The French average seven weeks of paid vacation a year -- two more than the country's labor laws stipulate. They work an average of 1,441 hours per year, compared with 1,661 hours for the British, and 1,824 for Americans."

I freaking get 2 weeks a year. 2 weeks. Yes... 77.5 hours of paid vacation for a year. And poor Romain is complaining? Grow up, wus.

Really, I'm picking on poor Romain. Not just because he's French, nor just because he's unemployed, nor even because he's an actor. I'm picking on him because he's an unemployed French actor.

Let me present to Romain a clever idea as to how he can get a job.

Firstly, leave France. That entire land area is a poor use of dirt. Secondly, change your occupation from actor to something more useful. With your manifest skill set, I imagine you might one day have the potential to manage a "Stop-In" or, as the surrender-prone French refer to them, "Stop-In-And-Rob-Us-And-Don't-Worry-We-Won't-Fight-Back". Lastly, and most importantly, take a bath. It's a lot easier to get a job when you don't reek of the "Odor-De-Armpit" that Paris emits.

That is all.

The K drive is dead, long live the K!

Well ladies and gentlemen we have finally done it, we have killed the K for now and all time. For the last three years questions about the wisdom of running an unmonitored, unbackedup drive where anybody could do anything kept coming up in Network meetings. I was always of the opinion that you could trust the users to understand the risks of this type of environment. I always vehemently defended the K and told my colleagues that it was of great use to the students and faculty. It was.

Sadly, I was wrong about the first assumption. Users didn't understand the risks of this type of environment, or at least some users didn't, and when a data purge was necessary last spring to keep the custis server from crashing we found out just how many people didn't understand the principal of a completely open network drive. Data was lost and people were angry.

The solution to the lack of a space for groupwork for classes will be met by the L drive (Indeed there has always been space on the L drive for this sort of thing), but informal groups of students who want to share data will have to find another way. Fortunately technology continues to make this easier and easier for the more tech savvy students. It could be that the K drive would have withered away in the next few years anyway, though I doubt it.

It's about freaking time.

Apple has finally added a "right click" button on its mouse.

Read about it here.

And it even can scroll left and right all with one scroll wheel. Well, its good to know that Apple is still "innovative".

The article reads, "Though the $49 gadget is unlikely to impress anyone who's used an optical mouse from Logitech International SA or Microsoft Corp., it still offers some innovations that make it an attractive option for Mac users. (It also works, in a limited way, on Windows PCs.)"

Now if we could only get a 2-button mouse with a scroll wheel for the PC...

Oh wait... I forgot... we've had one for about the past 7 years.

first day at Pitt!

Hey guys, I thought you would like to know that the first thing I did when I started research at Pitt was to diagnose a Dell hard disk...sigh... I am afraid that Jason might be right (even though I am still willing to screamingly deny this) - we never quite leave the Helpdesk. Despite the fact that the Helpdesk manager gets to paranoic that he starts deleting former employee's data - just to make sure he erases all traces from them in HIS helpdesk.

Actually, this is my first Helpdesk blog entry :) In very short, I arrived in Pittsburgh on Saturday and started research today. My advisor seems to be very dedicated, but very demanding. Our project is on trusted computing and allowing companies to share confidential data during project collaboration in a way that they control the way other companies access their data. It seems like I am witha very good advisor - he will make me work, but if I do - good things will happen.

Me, Jit and Chris Gaiteri (my new roommate, my class from W&L) went to church on Sunday. It is a beer brewery / restaurant, which was a catholic church until the beginning of the 20th c. They couldn't maintain the church so they had the choice for tearing it down or using it as something else. They supposedly kept the same benches, used the puse to make a bar counter and kept the original organ. The former altar is ... where they brew the beer :) Ah, religion is not such a bad thing after all...

Anyway, till next time...

Happy Birthday!

Make sure to wish Kari a Happy Belated Birthday (Aug 7)...She's now 21 and we all know what that means :)

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Welcome to reading my incredibly short, uninformative, and obligatory 1st blog entry.

I love wasting everyone's time... hehehe...

Proving to Elham that she can log in

I'm Elham, and you're not. I'm going to Egypt, and, again, you're not - -you sad sad losers.

Support me...now!

Senor White, our old BDFL, has graciously returned my right to rant here. Although I'll say putting a non-UTF-8 character in his post to break my blogging tool was a pretty sneaky way to shut me up. ;-)

It seems to me that some of us never quite escape the Helpdesk.... Little Princess is supporting big users. Quackman is supporting some sort of user. And a major part of my job is supporting all sizes of users. So I've got a question for y'all..... Who's harder to support in your opinion, non-technical users or technical "I live to find all the ways to bend you over" users.

Hmmm....I wonder if I'll get my privileges revoked again....

Time synch...

OK....before I get booted again I've gotta say that the timestamps on this server are completely FUBAR. Come on folks...I know Monsieur Tinsley or Senor Knudson run a perfectly good NTP server. ;-)

Correction: Ok...so maybe its not the NTP issue. Cause this post got correctly timestamped...for reference this post came after the one above it.

A note from a Cube Monkey

Hello everyone. Today is my second day at work. Not much going on. I spend the whole day yesterday filling out forms after forms. I don't recall filling out anything for the Help Desk, not even an application...
Now I started my day today by filling more form for some security clearance they gonna get me. Wow I might get to work on something "cool" in a "unknow" place...
So I am sitting my my cube with my 19in flat screen don't know what to do cause I already finish the form. Ask around they just say read online or something...
BTW this office is fill with Dell computer and printer... I feel right at "home"... I got a phone with my own direct line except I haven't receive anything yet. I have 2 email addresses... I don't know why... they just like to give people 2 I guess. Alright that's it for now, I'm gonna go back to "reading"...

My Vacation

The First of August is staring at me like an angry Rottweiler with a look that says "Your time is nearly up pumpkin." I don't know why it is that Rottweilers always refer to me as pumpkin, but I can tell you that all over campus people are waking out of their summer slumber to the realization that in only 30 days we will have to work again.

I would prefer to dwell in the past however, so I am going to tell you about my exciting vacation to Western North Carolina. Let me first start off by saying that there are few things more fun that entertaining children under five.

On Saturday we drove down to Dad's house with two kids and the dog. Everyone traveled well, no vomiting! Visited with my dad, sister, and 2 nephews for a couple of days. Dad lives on a lake so there was much frolicking in the water and riding a giant inflatable shark which was Dad's birthday present to Alex. On Monday, sis and the nephews went home and we took a trip on Thomas the Tank Engine http://www.gsmr.com/thomas2005/dowt_main.html . It was only a 2.5 mile trip, but at 5 miles an hour it was enough for the kids. There were also games, inflated buildings, a petting zoo and of course a visit with Sir Topham Hatt (which we skipped, because I find Sir Topham a little intimidating). More fun frolicking in the water and a little sailing for me in a little sailboat (9 foot). We had a wonderful time. Now back to the Rottweilers, which people say are really wonderful dogs if they are not eating you.